Radical Candor

Radical Candor was the first business book I ever read. As someone who got defensive and didn’t take criticism so well all the time, I thought this would be an interesting book. At first glance, the book talks about how to give this criticism, not necessarily how to take it. However, it also helped me gain insight as to why people gave criticism and why. Not everyone is out there to put you down, sometimes they’re just trying to be helpful. Reframing this scenarios helped me become more open to criticism. In fact, now I often ask for negative criticism. That being said, I think that it’s much easier for me to ask for negative criticism than just receiving it unprompted.

There are probably a few reasons for this. I think one is that I’m already in the mindset to receive that criticism. Another possible benefit was that I didn’t have to hear the criticism right after I made the mistake. It feels as though I am more removed from the situation, kind of like self-distancing. In addition, I suspect being given feedback involuntarily makes the problems seem as though they had reached a point where I needed to be reprimanded. On the other hand, getting feedback after asking for it makes it seem less severe. I’m sure it also looks good when one is proactive about improving.

“They get measured at the listener’s ear, not at the speaker’s mouth”

This one idea has stuck out to me years after reading Radical Candor. Not everyone reacts to criticism the same and not everyone will react the way you intended or expected. You can care a lot about someone and give them the direct feedback they need, but you also need to be aware of who they are and how they might take it. The book builds on this idea, that you need to understand and build a relationship with people to give them better criticism. To me, this book has a lot to say about empathy, even if it’s not explicitly stated.